Mission: Find the Purple Panda
by kisses1991
Summary: Team seven is sent on a mission to find the rare purple panda. Random and perverted.


Author's Note: This is the complete opposite of my other stories. To be honest, it was more enjoyable to write. If anyone actually reads it, I've got lower expectations to meet because it has almost no plot as of now.

I don't own Naruto. If I did, It'd be a serious yaoi fest.

PART 1- A Mission is Assigned

"Mission: Find the Purple Panda!" Kakashi grinned.

Sakura and Sasuke continued to stare.

"What the heck?" they both replied in unison. Sasuke sent her a death glare for taking his words.

Naruto was not paying the least bit attention to Kakashi or the mission being assigned. "Bunny! Darn you, come here!" he yelled at the white furry creature hopping away from him.

"What's a panda?" Sakura asked Kakashi-sensei.

Naruto suddenly appeared beside her.

"It's you know…one of those fuzzy bears that are black and white." He put his hands out in front of him like bear claws. "RAWR!"

"Oh! I've heard of those! So why is our mission to capture one?" Sakura questioned.

Kakashi responded with, "It's going to be used for some kind of new training program…of course, Hokage Tsunade was a bit tipsy from sake when she assigned our team this mission…."

"Do pandas eat ramen?" Naruto sat cross legged on the ground before the other three, pondering his question. "Because if they do, than I think I like pandas."

With three groans the others turned their backs on him to continue their discussion of the mission.

"We have one week to trek across the Fire country to a small island that is located off the shore and to successfully capture one panda," Kakashi informed them. " Generally, pandas are white and black, but the one we're searching for is the rare Purple Panda!. Alright, so lets go pack up for our mission and meet at the gate in an hour. I've umm got some business to attend to involving my book…." Kakashi disappeared.

"What was that about?" Naruto asked the other two.

Sasuke glared at his stupidity.

"God you're dense Naruto… imagine what you would do after reading a hot porn seen. Especially those ones with naked guys all over….I mean girls all over each other."

Sakura blushed as it dawned on her what they were talking about.

Naruto thought about this for a moment. "Wait. What would you do after that?"

Sasuke, trying to retain a bit of his dignity, left to get his things, Sakura following behind him.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

"Dynamic Entrance!!!" Waves crashed as Gai appeared besides Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto who were waiting at the front gate for Kakashi.

"What are you youthful ninjas in training waiting for? You should be out working and frolicking on the path of life!"

Team 7 sweat dropped.

Sakura replied, "We're waiting for Kakashi- sensei to arrive"

Gai shoved a fist high into the air. "My eternal rival! I have beaten him now 75-74. I will forever be the winner because of my greater power of youth!"

"Yo." Kakashi's little orange book covered his face as he perched on a nearby post.

Inner Gai "How hip you are Kakashi! Someday I shall attain that power!"

"I challenge you to a contest of wits!!!!" Gai yelled as he pointed a finger at Kakashi.

" Hmmm. Maybe later. We have a panda mission right now…" responded Kakashi.

The four stood side by side as they passed through the gate of Konohagakure to embark on their latest mission.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Deep announcer voice

What peril and disaster will come as Team 7 searches for the rare Purple Panda? Will Naruto ever befriend a bunny? Do pandas like ramen? So many questions…Soon to be answered!

PART 2-A Yaoi Introduction

Yaoi is a boy/boy relationship

Strangely, he hadn't noticed it was missing yet.

Flashback

Team 7 had arrived near their first resting point, a small but busy city, and were relaxing on the border of all the commotion. Kakashi had left the team to go bathe in the river and the three sat behind to chat.

"What do you think is in there?"

"Perverted stuff, I'd guess."

"I dare you to go peek inside." Sakura poked Naruto in the back, pushing him closer.

He picked the bag up in both hands, having to use some muscle to get it off the ground. Jaw hit floor as he poured out it's contents.

"Everything is labeled with an X. Make out Paradise…Icha Icha Violence,

Yaoi for Dummies."

"What's yaoi?" Sakura asked the two boys. Sasuke blushed and ignored her question. Naruto replaced everything in it's place inside the pack.

"I guess I'm going to find out," he called behind him as he left to read.

End Flashback

A. Apply Lube

B. Insert into hole

C. Motion hips back and forth.

"So that's how you do that! Who knew," Naruto exclaimed to himself.

He walked back to the campsite, happy with his new-found knowledge.

His other team members sat near a crackling fire chatting about Konoha and missions.

"Hey Sasuke, I just read this book!" He thrust the book into Sasuke's personal bubble. "It says to understand it completely you should try it with a partner!"

Even Kakashi was surprised a bit by Naruto's ignorance.

"You know Naruto, as your sensei, it's my job to do the teaching."

__

'Whomp'

Sasuke's hand made contact with the back of Kakashi's head.

"Uhhh..hehe. I got bit carried away there." He grinned sheepishly at the two boys. "Well Goodnight. Rest and we'll continue on the mission tomorrow. You can keep the book Naruto, you need it more than I do."

Naruto turned to Sasuke. "What was he talking about?"

Sasuke groaned in reply. "Go to sleep dobe"


End file.
